Spam posts should be fixed.

Not like anyone cares, but the spam posts which have been appearing randomly should hopefully be eliminated by now. I disabled the email post feature which may have been linking to some spam in my Gmail account. If that doesn't fix the mess, I'm just going to close this blog, because that would mean either I have a hacker or Blogger has some serious issues with advertising. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Computer technicians, IDWant to hate you

The repair technicians f_cked up my netbook repair, didn't tell me anything, and I missed FedEx's deliveries. So my netbook is lost in... Oakland or something, and I don't know if it's fixed or still broken until Toshiba can find and track the status of the repair and its technicians. Here's the email I sent to the technicians, which is only a portion of all the problems going on with this repair:

[NAME EDITED OUT],

Since I have received no confirmation or verification over the status of my netbook, I have reported a missing case claim to Toshiba's corporate offices. Somehow FedEx didn't get over to my house with a signature and has gone off to Oakland or something, which is not your fault nor is it Toshiba's, but you must understand my level of frustration. The only record of verification that I have from you is the receipt for the tracking number, and that indicated that my netbook was out of warranty (which expired the end of last month while this case has been ongoing for about four or five), and I had disapproved of a non-warranty repair which is ludicrous because never have I been asked if I want to approve a repair. The final bit of frustration lies at the bottom of my tracking receipt where it reads:

1) Symptom	System Lockups / Hangs -Unknown
1) Root Cause	DEFECTIVE
1) Resolution	Replace MAIN CIRCUIT BOARD ASSY-N8LBXMS_HL
2) Symptom	System Lockups / Hangs -Unknown
2) Root Cause	ABUSED
2) Resolution	RETURN AS RECEIVED

Now both Toshiba and myself are trying to figure out if my netbook WAS fixed or if it WASN'T, but now the tracking number, TB-0010375 cannot be traced. I am awaiting a phone call from Toshiba in the next couple of days, and I will also call again tomorrow. If you have anything to comment back on, please do so, but it would have helped a lot more two weeks ago.

Paul S. Skinner

So... FML

I just had the craziest dream, I'm upset now.

As you get older, it seems that normally you cannot remember most dreams you may have. But this morning, I remembered my dream this time! I call it

The Failed Confrontation 

       With Michael Cera

It was a... Monday morning, or maybe it was Tuesday. Wednesday? It was in the quiet little city of Long Beach, a town not to far south from the bustling Los Angeles and the ever so glamorous Hollywood. There lived a young man named Paul Skinner who was struggling between rent, one lousy job, and doing the best he could for his loving girlfriend. He wanted to go rent a movie, either that or go to one specific Blockbuster for no apparent reason. Whatever compelled his decision, there was one problem: there was only one Blockbuster left in Long Beach (actually no, there are SEVEN according to Google Maps) and that was in Bixby Knolls near the Country Club. So, for no apparent reason, he went to that Blockbuster.

View Larger Map
When he got to the Blockbuster, he suddenly had no memory of how he got there, or any other detail prior to that, almost as if the day started inside of a Blockbuster. Whatever the case, Paul immediately became panicked and stressed out for lo and behold from across the video store he thought he saw a famous celebrity, Michael Cera. He actually didn't see anyone, he just felt like he was there in that store even though he didn't see him at all. There was only one thing that Paul wanted from Michael Cera in the heat of the moment. An autograph? NO, not according to the dream. Miraculously Paul instantly printed out notes and links for his music, or he already had them in his pocket. He was going to find him when he realized he forgot to write his name! How could he possibly turn something in with no name on it? He would get an automatic "F". Without already possessing a pen, he asked for one at the front counter. Strangely, they did not have a pen, but they did have a pencil, a short, stubby pencil used for marking scores at a game of golf. Maybe they were doing a survey or something: "Which do you prefer? Going to the store, or shopping online?" He quickly wrote his name and date at the top right of the front paper.

Michael Cera walked up to the cashier, accompanied by a cute and pretty girlfriend in a white frilly tank-top (that's all I remember her wearing... and she was white.) I suppose most people would assume the rumored relationship of Michael and Charlyne Yi, but not in this dream. Paul was about to confront him when he remembered one last thing: he forgot to put MICHAEL CERA's name! If Michael found these notes with Paul's name on it, he would report them lost and try to return them to the original owner. He obviously wanted for him to keep them. Now he was really stressed out and thought Michael Cera saw him. He quickly ran to the other side of the counter, which now made him look like a potential stalker, and wrote Michael's name on the notes. Paul got distracted and wrote someone else's name instead. He hastily scribbled it out and as he noticed they were about to leave, he quickly wrote, "to M CERA." It's best that he kept his first name as an initial because Paul always had a problem with confusing Michael with Micheal since the day he was born, or learned to write, whichever came first. The only option he had left was to run outside and leave his notes near Michael Cera's bike.

When Micheal went outside, he saw Paul there by his bike, crouched down, slipping his notes into the basket of his bike. They were both shocked and embarrassed. Paul thought it better to confront him instead of leaving the notes and running away like a stalker, so they went back inside for no apparent reason. Paul reasoned with him and said,
"I just wanted to show you these notes I had for you and some music I made." He fumbled around and lost all his self confidence when he realized all the notes were messed up and out of order. He tried to spread them out over the table, or counter, but Michael Cera began to ridicule at Paul saying he was being ridiculous and was wasting his time. Paul then began to ask him about his stay in Long Beach and that he lived in Long Beach too.
"It's merely very cool that you are in Long Beach and we could hang out if we wanted to." Again, he refused his fanatic conversation. This made Paul furious, and he came back by saying something like,
"Screw you then, and screw all of your girlfriends," or maybe, "you've had better girlfriends then her," referring to the girl that was with him. For some reason, two of his ex-girl friends just happened to be sitting at the same table (or counter, WTF,) Mary Elizabeth Winstead and who seemed to be either Emma Stone or Ellen Page. What Paul said either made them really mad or really embarrassed, because either way they talked and gossiped amongst themselves. It also made Michael and his girlfriend mad, and they turned to the door.

"Wait, before you go," Paul said before they exited through the door. Michael Cera stopped for a few seconds.
"Would you at least say hi to my girlfriend for me please?" Paul asked calmly and politely. "It's her birthday in a couple of days and I'm kind of broke right now to treat her for her birthday. I'm struggling between paying rent and working a lousy job and the best thing I can get her right now is [THIS PORTION HAS BEEN EDITED OUT FOR PRIVACY REASONS] but I could also give her some birthday [EDITED] even if I'm tired. The point is, it would mean the world to her [actually, she'd just really love it] if you could send her a happy birthday message or something."
This touched Michael Cera in a way that can only make him forget that Paul had ever been an asshole. He said, "Ok, I'll do that for her, and I'm sorry I tried to ignore you." Paul also apologized for being an asshole and he gave him his girlfriend's facebook information, assuming that a well known Hollywood actor would easily pass out his facebook information to wish a common fan a happy birthday. They shook hands and went home to watch their movies. Michael Cera watched Back To The Future and Paul watched Superbad.

THE END

More excitement across the ever spanning web!

OK, I've set up everything from this blog to my bandcamp to my gosh damned facebook. I'm super distracted by Family Guy right now, and I prolly should go to bed right now, so I'll just throw some links up.

Listen to and review my music

You got a facebook? Yeah? You do? Of course you do, who doesn't? (Stupid ass social networking monopoly)
Find me on facebook
Where am I? Oh, here I am. "Find me on facebook," that's a stupid thing to put on a link. There's nothing to find, the link points straight to me, it literally brings you to me. So why would I or anyone make a link that says "FIND me on facebook?" ...Stupid facebook.

Welcome all!

This is my new blog spot. I've copied over almost all of my old blogs from MySpace, so feel free to read them. I will be posting more blogs again just like the olden days. Laters!

STAR WARS in a nutshell

"Use the force Luke."           >o< =o          ( o   )  

      >o<  -=o     ( o   )  

       >o< --=o    ( o   )  

       >o< ---=o   ( o   )  

         >o< ----=o( o   )  
              >o< --=( o   ) 
       >o<=          ( o   ) 
>o<=-_-            ( x   )  

  "Lightspeed!"          >o<=-_-=      ((((((X)))) 

"BOOM!" ((((((((((X)))))

         . : * :.

                 

THE END

I just realized something...

I think my voice is going!
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I wanna be a kid again!!!

F*ck the eureka, I had a reality check.

Love is hard, love is tough, and love, why would you want to TRY to love when you don't?
I was trying to do that, trying to love again.
Love is strong, but it is completely powerless and pointless when you don't mean it.
Love is honest, and is only meant to be when it is the truth.
I guess that phrase, "love is all that matters," is really true.
Well, not in life, no, other things matter.
But when it comes to love, love IS all that really matters.
Love can't exist unless it's just her and him, him and her, and the whole world passes by as the two are lost in each other, but never want to be found.
Lost, now that's a key word I've been stuck on for quite a while.
But it wasn't fun to be lost the way I was.
I just wanted to find my way out immediately, but I wanted to be found.
Fuck that, I'm hackin' through this garden labyrinth.
You wanna know why?
I'll tell you:
She's the garden, the beautiful garden.
She drags you in with her seductive roses that just seem to stare at you.
At the entrance, she looks so alone, deserted, there seems to be no one in the garden.
So you enter, and so far are constantly amazed by her beauty.
At first it is fun, exciting, and you wish you could stay forever.
But you never get to forever before things all go to hell.
You encounter your first dead end, and you are heart broken.
At that point all you want to do is chop your way out of this garden and go home.
But soon you recuperate yourself and are back on your feet, though you feel a little uneasy.
You start to feel sick, so you try to find your way to the exit.
But she takes you back, the farther you try to get from her, the closer she gets to you.
So you give in and try to find your way to the middle of the garden.
However every direction you take, it ends up leading somewhere else, as if there is a constant bipolar indecision.
This beautiful garden suddenly turns into a confusing maze.
Along the way, you discover other people in the maze, walking around, trying to find the nucleus of this garden of Eden.
After a while, you begin to get really lost, and you don't know what to do.
You are stuck, lost, and just hanging, not sure what to do.
Then you hear a beautiful blue bird singing in the distance.
It's coming from the center of the garden.
You want to go back to the center of the garden, where that lovely blue bird has been calling you forth.
But you are lost, so you try your best to make your way there, even though you don't know how.
Just as you're about to make your arrival toward the center of the garden, you notice something move out of the maze.
It is the blue bird, and it is flying away, making its descent out of the garden.
You are lost again, all alone, and that inspiring bird of love is gone, and you have no reason to go on.So don't go looking for love, even when you once lost it before.  Love is a powerful thing, don't just love someone, love them honestly, truly, and with all of your heart and soul.

Love, I had a eureka!!! {

The last few days I've been approached by this problem that I've been trying to address, but have had no idea how to do so.
Here's the problem:
A good friend of mine, someone who I loved deeply, and who loved me too, told me a few days ago that she loved me.
Unfortunately, I've been lost and away from love, from her love, that I didn't know what to say.
Of course I said that I missed her, to avoid my dilemma that I really could not honestly tell her that I love her.
But I wanted to, so badly, however I didn't feel it. 
I always used to be the one who said "I love you."
In fact, I was the first to say it, even when I tried avoiding her before the confusion hit its peak, I couldn't help myself, and said, "I love you, I love you."
So why now, when she comes to me, am I lost and confused?
Where did it go?
How could I honestly feel that same love for her again?
Tonight, I spoke to someone (well technically messaged.)
She spoke of love as if it were a disease, and asked me why it is a disease?
Why is love referred to as a disease?
I thought a little, and came up with this:"it is a disease because, like a disease, it can get really complicated, and like scientists, we need to find a cure"
And somehow, I thought of a cure, I had a eureka!

"i lost the feeling of love, and perhaps it is because i dont miss it, i think i need to get away from love, like, the opposite sex, attractions, etc for a little bit, then maybe ill realize what i havent been feeling for a little while"
I think I realize now what I have to do.
I have to devote my love to my love by giving up love.
No flirting.
No talking.
No porn.
No sex.
No liking.
No loving.
No etc.
I'm giving it all up for her, my love.
I'm doing this, my love, because I love you.

Wanna tell her how I feel, those three words...

Pink Panther Sandwich

One example of why you’d want a bf/gf

I think that the one thing that distinguishes a relationship (besides honesty, that should be the reason to go into a relationship) is dedication and devotion.  To many people, being single is a good thing, and I think people tend to enjoy the single life after one or some failed or hard and confusing relationships.  But what happens when you really need someone right then and there, right now, and there's no one to run to?
When I'm being crushed by subways and torn apart by dinosaurs (I know, weird combo,) who can I call up real quick to make 'em go away?  Who's gonna be there for me and whisper, "it was just a dream"?  I'm trying to enjoy the single life just like everyone else, but everything has a downside, and this is it, not having someone to run to, to make it all go away and say, "I love you."
I'm gonna go back to bed now.  I better not have another painful awakening again because if I do I just might run off a cliff!

Summer Mischief All Alone

So I snuck out of the house for the very first time tonight.  Prior to that, I had an enjoyable, chill 4th of July, even though my friend was unintentionally cock-blocking all the girls I was flirting with, and he does that every single time!  I ended the night with a few games of online pool and VERY small talk with a much needed friend.  I originally wanted to jump into my friend's pool and get wet (duh) in the summer evening cool, but instead I had to go in my jacuzzi.  Afterward, I snuck out to the park to smoke a cigar and listen to some music. 
Where is summer going for me?

......  =/

Summer Resolutions/To Do

Summer Resolutions/To Do List (exp. Jan 2009)
Paul S Skinner

Daily
- Study/Do homework to do well on final
- Spend the day with a girl at least once every week
- Find something special to do every new day
- Get more contacts/phone numbers
- Socialize outside of friend circle
- Talk to Cheesecake
- Keep room clean
- Apply rash ointment
- Take Chris's place while he is gone

Goals
- Get a girlfriend
- Become best friends/boyfriend-girlfriend with Cheesecake
- Have at least thirty girls' phone numbers/screen names
- Have at least fifty girls' phone numbers/screen names
- Have posted one-hundred blogs
- Get rid of rash

Tasks
- Register for classes
- Make appointment for MAPT
- Find out when Cheesecake is in Hawaii
- Pay off parking tickets
- File extension for traffic violation
- Sign up for traffic school
- Get Wells Fargo account number and check balance
- Fix car
- Plan out/pay for Yosemite trip
- Get a techno party together (patio theme, yeah, maybe?)
- Hang out with Shane
- Buy Mixcraft
- Finish SMG OST
- Complete my first recorded CD
- Organize vinals
- Pay dad month of June
- Pay dad month of July
- Pay dad month of August

Don't dream, don't EVER dream.

Just do what you can do.

Doubt...

There are many difficulties in life.  One of the hardest things in life for me is doubt.  Many people who know me think I am a 100% happy-go-lucky positive guy.  Don't get me wrong, I am.  However, a lot of the time, I am very doubtful, and I have been like this far too long in the past.  For all of those who don't see this, I try to hide it, I'll be positive anyway.  There is always some kind of doubt in my mind, it's there right now.  There are a few things I am beginning to doubt, but I will not tell you because you know me as the guy who always has a positive outlook in life, and I don't want to change that.  Sometimes they are little things: right now, one thing is bugging me that is little, I think, I hope, I doubt...  Sometimes they are big: another doubt is big for me right now, and there is only one person who knows about it, besides me, God, and my professor.  My advice to my fellow blog readers, [cricket noises] don't doubt anything in life.  Always look for the best, fuck the worst, don't regret anything, and if you do, fix it right then and there.  If school is bugging you and you are doubting where you are going in life, do what it is you want to do and dig out of the hole you are in right now.  If you are learning a second language and you doubt yourself, don't; speak that language everyday, and who cares if you say something wrong, you only learn from your mistakes, your mistakes do not hurt you.  If there is a boy or a girl you like and you doubt how he or she feels about you, stop that now and keep this mentallity, "he/she wants you right now and you are gonna have him/her tonight!"  Doubt is a painful thing, and living with it only makes life a boring hell.  Make the best of life right now and everyday, before it is too late.

Life as Paul Skinner

Everyone says that I see the glass half full as apposed to half empty...



But I am quite aware that the glass contains 50% air and 50% liquid!

Fauget-Abotit!

The best way to forget about something is to make it better than it is.

'Member, to forgive is to forget.

I think I'm waking up!

I've just downloaded a torrent for an mp3 rip of the Super Mario Galaxy soundtrack.  Oh my God, it is so f ck'n beautiful, like an orgasm to my ears.  Anyways, I feel like I am finally waking up from my long musician's block.  I have a certain feeling in my stomach, in my heart, in my head, in the hairs on the back of my neck, in my face, in my eyes, in my fingertips, in my ears, in my imagination that has long been asleep in a quiet and idle coma, nerve recking urge to create that is now free to bloom on a piece of paper, through a microphone, into some form of art and achievement.  It feels like this music has just opened me like a key, it was just a matter of when the gatekeeper would meet the key maker.
I'll type back soon, perhaps tomorrow since I am currently busy.  Peace!

Woodstock 69

Last week I found a chair back massager at the thrift store for just eight bucks! Everything works great, and it even has a heater! It also turns off automatically so that I can't burn the house down, lol. I strapped it onto my videogame rocker, and it is so comfortable. I just now finished some relaxing time to myself. Picture this:
Spin a record of the Woodstock 69 original soundtrack, played with crisp clarity through the magnificent noise cancelling Sennheiser audiophile headphones, with a bowl of ice cream, lights out, provided the solitude of my bedroom for free minded "rockin' out", all on top of an automated, hands-free, personally adjustable back massage.
Ahhhh... What a great investment. This must be the best eight dollars I've ever spent!

Paul Skinner's Adventures in Virginia

I saw:

♦Stop lights on strings

♦7/11s with gas stations

♦and poe-poes with those brimmed hats, I think they are called campaign hats.



I also saw a bush conduct an orchestra...