I just had the craziest dream, I'm upset now.

As you get older, it seems that normally you cannot remember most dreams you may have. But this morning, I remembered my dream this time! I call it

The Failed Confrontation 

       With Michael Cera

It was a... Monday morning, or maybe it was Tuesday. Wednesday? It was in the quiet little city of Long Beach, a town not to far south from the bustling Los Angeles and the ever so glamorous Hollywood. There lived a young man named Paul Skinner who was struggling between rent, one lousy job, and doing the best he could for his loving girlfriend. He wanted to go rent a movie, either that or go to one specific Blockbuster for no apparent reason. Whatever compelled his decision, there was one problem: there was only one Blockbuster left in Long Beach (actually no, there are SEVEN according to Google Maps) and that was in Bixby Knolls near the Country Club. So, for no apparent reason, he went to that Blockbuster.

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When he got to the Blockbuster, he suddenly had no memory of how he got there, or any other detail prior to that, almost as if the day started inside of a Blockbuster. Whatever the case, Paul immediately became panicked and stressed out for lo and behold from across the video store he thought he saw a famous celebrity, Michael Cera. He actually didn't see anyone, he just felt like he was there in that store even though he didn't see him at all. There was only one thing that Paul wanted from Michael Cera in the heat of the moment. An autograph? NO, not according to the dream. Miraculously Paul instantly printed out notes and links for his music, or he already had them in his pocket. He was going to find him when he realized he forgot to write his name! How could he possibly turn something in with no name on it? He would get an automatic "F". Without already possessing a pen, he asked for one at the front counter. Strangely, they did not have a pen, but they did have a pencil, a short, stubby pencil used for marking scores at a game of golf. Maybe they were doing a survey or something: "Which do you prefer? Going to the store, or shopping online?" He quickly wrote his name and date at the top right of the front paper.

Michael Cera walked up to the cashier, accompanied by a cute and pretty girlfriend in a white frilly tank-top (that's all I remember her wearing... and she was white.) I suppose most people would assume the rumored relationship of Michael and Charlyne Yi, but not in this dream. Paul was about to confront him when he remembered one last thing: he forgot to put MICHAEL CERA's name! If Michael found these notes with Paul's name on it, he would report them lost and try to return them to the original owner. He obviously wanted for him to keep them. Now he was really stressed out and thought Michael Cera saw him. He quickly ran to the other side of the counter, which now made him look like a potential stalker, and wrote Michael's name on the notes. Paul got distracted and wrote someone else's name instead. He hastily scribbled it out and as he noticed they were about to leave, he quickly wrote, "to M CERA." It's best that he kept his first name as an initial because Paul always had a problem with confusing Michael with Micheal since the day he was born, or learned to write, whichever came first. The only option he had left was to run outside and leave his notes near Michael Cera's bike.

When Micheal went outside, he saw Paul there by his bike, crouched down, slipping his notes into the basket of his bike. They were both shocked and embarrassed. Paul thought it better to confront him instead of leaving the notes and running away like a stalker, so they went back inside for no apparent reason. Paul reasoned with him and said,
"I just wanted to show you these notes I had for you and some music I made." He fumbled around and lost all his self confidence when he realized all the notes were messed up and out of order. He tried to spread them out over the table, or counter, but Michael Cera began to ridicule at Paul saying he was being ridiculous and was wasting his time. Paul then began to ask him about his stay in Long Beach and that he lived in Long Beach too.
"It's merely very cool that you are in Long Beach and we could hang out if we wanted to." Again, he refused his fanatic conversation. This made Paul furious, and he came back by saying something like,
"Screw you then, and screw all of your girlfriends," or maybe, "you've had better girlfriends then her," referring to the girl that was with him. For some reason, two of his ex-girl friends just happened to be sitting at the same table (or counter, WTF,) Mary Elizabeth Winstead and who seemed to be either Emma Stone or Ellen Page. What Paul said either made them really mad or really embarrassed, because either way they talked and gossiped amongst themselves. It also made Michael and his girlfriend mad, and they turned to the door.

"Wait, before you go," Paul said before they exited through the door. Michael Cera stopped for a few seconds.
"Would you at least say hi to my girlfriend for me please?" Paul asked calmly and politely. "It's her birthday in a couple of days and I'm kind of broke right now to treat her for her birthday. I'm struggling between paying rent and working a lousy job and the best thing I can get her right now is [THIS PORTION HAS BEEN EDITED OUT FOR PRIVACY REASONS] but I could also give her some birthday [EDITED] even if I'm tired. The point is, it would mean the world to her [actually, she'd just really love it] if you could send her a happy birthday message or something."
This touched Michael Cera in a way that can only make him forget that Paul had ever been an asshole. He said, "Ok, I'll do that for her, and I'm sorry I tried to ignore you." Paul also apologized for being an asshole and he gave him his girlfriend's facebook information, assuming that a well known Hollywood actor would easily pass out his facebook information to wish a common fan a happy birthday. They shook hands and went home to watch their movies. Michael Cera watched Back To The Future and Paul watched Superbad.

THE END